Of tattos, gin and moms
by LadyPalma
Summary: Fitzgerald Heller and Neal Nolan are best friends, but their parents are not really pleased about this. What happens when they end up in jail and their families meet at the police station? [implied Authella - Snowing]


**Of tattoos, gin and moms**

 _ **Headcanon: Fitz or Anita Heller (whichever) becomes close friends with Neal Nolan, creating interesting social situations for both sets of parents. :) -your favorite anon**_

* * *

Fitzgerald Heller was the best tatooist in Storybrooke – and Neal Nolan was thinking that not just because he was actually the only one in town and not even because he was his best friend. Little Charming had in fact always praised his friend's ability to draw since they were in elementary school together, and when at the age of sixteen he had started to turn the paper into skin, his talent only seemed to grow. Now Fitzgerald was 17 and a lot of people were surprisingly carrying his masterpieces around. Well, a lot of people indeed, but Neal wasn't one of them, at least until that moment.

"Are you sure about it?" the young tattooist had to ask, according to the professional ethic he actually took seriously.

"Oh, com'on Fitz, you know I am!" the slight older boy quickly exclaimed. And right then he was thanking all the Gods for that sort oldness that allowed him not to ask his parents' consent.

Nothing in his excitement betrayed uncertainty, and so Fitz didn't hide his thrilled grin as well.

"Okay, let's start then… But it will hurt a bit you know that"

"Well, it means that we'll go getting drunk at The Rabbit Hole later"

Fitz let out a small laugh and his excitement only increased at that. "Or we can steal the gin from my mom…"

The appearance of the instruments for the tattoo hushed both of them for a while. One thing was sure though: after the hard work – for Fitz - and after the pain – for Neal – they both would have deserved some alcohol in their system.

* * *

"What the hell happened?"

Cruella was the first to outburst, but her same expression of worry was mirrored in the other three persons who had just entered the police station. At just some steps from them, Fitzgerald and Neal were temporarily sitting inside the cell, and the apologetic smile they both hinted immediately toward their parents had no effect to change their current dangerous situation.

"I've found them in your car, Cruella, and they were pretty drunk… I don't know how much they have driven until then… But now they are fine and sober and I actually have no reason to keep them here any longer"

Emma's probable attempt to calm them down just added fuel to the fire.

"I can't believe it! I should have known that your son was a bad company for mine!" This time it was Mary Margaret's turn to complain. The moment of self-accusation didn't last long though, because right in that moment, glancing to her son, she noticed a suspected bandage on his ankle. "Oh my God! Is that a tattoo?" she asked and instictively she took a step forward, letting her anger show again.

"Hush darling…" Cruella intervened, rolling her eyes. "It's a just a tattoo! My son is a good guy, he just has a _kink for ink_ , okay? It's not like he _killed_ anyone!"

"Well, considering you're his mother, I wouldn't bet on it!" Snow snapped immediately with angry sarcasm. "And anyway _your son_ convinced mine to get drunk and then _he_ drove and then, while drunk, _he_ made him the tattoo!" Her tone was almost breathless, so much that both Emma and David approached her instinctively, ready to help her in case of a heart attack.

Miss Swan was about to say something to reassure her mother, while Cruella was about to reply, but neither of them had the chance, since they were preceded by the two guilty young men.

"Actually, that's not what happened! I asked for the tattoo _before_ drinking, so I was sober mom…"

"Yes! And I drove _before_ drinking… We just had one – or maybe two?- bottle of gin in the car…"

A long unnatural silence followed those confessions. But while almost everyone was staring at them quite confused about the strange succession of events, Mrs Heller seemed to have understood everything perfectly and for the first she threw a disapproving look to her son.

"Oh, _little puppy_! How many times do I have to tell you and your sister not to use my gin? You could have stolen your father's whiskey, couldn't you?"

Isaac, being singled out, just raised an eyebrow to his wife, but it was another person the one that caught his attention. Right in front of him, David Nolan was standing in fact with an egual expression of uneasiness and when their eyes met they both silently decided to do something about it.

"Look, it's okay. It was both Neal and Fitzgerald's fault…"

"And we are sorry if Fitzgerald – well, we are sorry for everthing…"

Despite the attempt, the two women both crossed their arms at their chests, looking at each other with pure fury, and both of them abruptly refused their own husband's touch.

"No, _David_ , actually it's not okay!"

"And no, _Isaac_ , we are not damned sorry about anything!"

The complicit good sense between the men became a complicit submission; the new look they exchanged was just an agreement of pure silence. There had been in fact no _darling_ and no _charming_ : both the women had called them by their first name… And that only meant that things were getting pretty serious.

A half hour was passed and there still was no silence in the police station. Snow and Cruella were no longer yelling at each other though and that was somehow a progress. They were in fact just ranting with their husbands in two opposite side of the room, while drinking tea and gin. But the beverage was proving anyway the gravity of the situation, because Cruella was sipping relaxing tea while Snow was the one swallowing strong gin.

* * *

Still in the cell – but more for their own choice this time – Fitz and Neal looked at the scene in silence, until little Charming suddenly heavily sighed.

"Hey Fitz… You don't think it's the right time to tell my parents that the letter _A_ in my tattoo was after your sister right?"

They looked at each other and slowly they both started to histerically laugh. Probably the image of the two families becoming actually relatives popped in both their minds.

"Well it depends… If you want to provoke our moms a heart attack, go ahead!"

* * *

 **I know it's pretty idiot, but I had so much fun writing it! Hope you liked it:)**


End file.
